A Nightmare on Mum Street: Baby’s Revenge

Newborn babies seem to live by the manta “eat-vomit-poo-sleep-repeat”.  BG was an IMG_4333expert at this from a very young age.  I quickly learned that I needed at least 2 changes of clothes for her in the “go bag” and after a couple of months learning on the job, I started to take at least a spare top for ME too!

I also started to wonder how on earth I had lived without baby wipes for the entirety of my adult life up to the point BG was born.  They really do clean anything and everything.

BG was adept at vomiting, it was almost guaranteed that she would vomit every time we were out and about.  Especially if we were at a class and other people were there to witness her expulsion of her latest meal.  I went nowhere without a stash of muslins and baby wipes.

After about week 8, I also started to stop changing her outfit every time she was sick on it… if it would wipe up with a baby wipe and we weren’t going out – chances are it could survive until the next vomit session.

There’s something quite disturbing about the feeling of warm baby sick on you.  I distinctly remember one dark night where I say crying in bed, holding BG who had just been sick AGAIN.  I was on my fourth (and last) pair of clean pyjamas and my husband was on night shifts.  It was not a good night.

There have also been epic poonamis over the last 19 months, you can read about one particularly epic one here: The Public Poonami.  There comes a time where you have to make the executive decision to bin the vest as it’s beyond saving – especially when you’re out and about.  No one needs to carry around a bag of destroyed baby clothes with them!

I’ve always been amazed at just how much babies poo.  And also how explosive they are.  How do they manage to get it all the way up to their neck?

Once I’d managed to get a bit more into the groove of parenting, I also always made sure I checked the spare clothing that was in the “go bag” after an unfortunate incident where the spare items where hideously unmatched and also too small! Poor BG looked like a bag lady.

Baby’s also seem to have an innate ability to produce exorcist-style vomit and/or an epic poonami just at the point where you are wanting to leave the house and BG is no exception to this… they really do pick their moments.  The next time you see a mum looking perhaps a little bedraggled, take into consideration that she may be in her “emergency clothes” from the change bag!

To counteract “Baby’s Revenge”, I advise you:

  1. To always be sure you have a suitable spare outfit for your little one in your “go bag”
  2. To always carry a spare top for yourself just in case
  3. Learn when to just sacrifice an outfit, or at the very least a vest
  4. Never leave the house without at least one packet of baby wipes
  5. Wherever possible, don’t put your own “going out” outfit on until the very last minute… if possible, get dressed in the car after you’ve put the baby in

Have you got a nightmare poonami, vomit or combo of the two story to tell?  Sharing is caring!


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